Chris Pratt Is the Perfect Salesman in ‘Pitch Please’


We’re back with Chris Pratt. And you used to be a
door-to-door salesman? Yes, I did. What did you sell? I sold promotional
coupons for businesses in the service industry,
oil changes, trips to a day spa, salon. It’s pretty cool. How’d that go? It went really well. I was national
salesman of the year. I won a free trip to Jamaica. Wow. [APPLAUSE] Congratulations. Thank you. Well, you’re a good
salesman obviously. So we thought we
would play a game. It’s called Pitch, Please. [MUSIC PLAYING] Pitch, Please. All righty then. OK. So the first thing
I want to know is you’re going to sell it
like it’s a product on QVC. Oh, great. So whatever– this is how– you don’t know what it is. But you want to sell this thing. Of course, I do. All right. And I’m thrilled to be
here talking about it. Why should everyone have them? First of all, you work hard. You should get– you
should treat yourself, OK. It’s OK to spend a
little bit of money to get yourself something
that’s just really going to make you complete. Yeah, yeah, how often
should they use them? Honestly, I wouldn’t use it
any more than 20 times a day. But you can use it on a daily. Mm-hmm. And they do make you feel good? Oh, they make you feel great. Yeah. I’ve got three at home. I use them all the time. I use it with my friends, my
family, I bring grandma over. She’s got one. They’re great stocking stuffers. [LAUGHTER] If you act fast, because we’re
only giving around 20 of these, you can get all 20
at a discounted rate. Wow. You say you have three at home? I have three of these at home. Wow. How much would someone pay
for something like these? Oh, I’ll tell you how
much they have gone for. They’ve gone for upwards of $15. $16,000. If you act fast, you
get yours for $19.95 plus shipping and handling. OK. [APPLAUSE] You think on a cold day or
a hot day, what is best? There’s no temperature
of day that isn’t appropriate for this. And if you act
fast, you’ll get one for a cold day and an
extra one for the hot days. [LAUGHTER] I heard you work out with them. Why do you work out with them? You don’t get a body like this
without having one of these. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] Would you experience
chafing at all? Oh, no. No, there’s no chafing. You know, there’s a
lot of compliments. If you read the instruction
manual that it comes with– I see. –and the accompanying
lubricants, you will– you’ll have no
chafing whatsoever. OK. Yeah. Now when you– let’s just say
the three you have at home. Yes. All right, when
you’re using them, and you look in
the mirror, show me the face when you see
yourself in the mirror. [LAUGHTER] You, you, and you. Yeah. So you said your grandmother–
it’s all ages really? It’s– oh, yeah. It’s all ages, all
shapes, and sizes. OK, how old were you when
you first got your first one? Well, I was unfortunate. I had to wait till I was 15. [LAUGHTER] You’ve never had one fall off? Oh, no. I have one on right now. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] You have one right now? So have you ever
been pulled over and has anybody ever like,
I mean, you have one now. But– Right. You know, have you ever
been pulled over with them? With them on? Mhm. Oh, yes. I got pulled over
by a police officer because he had seen
that I was using mine. And I thought uh-oh, here we go. Another ticket. He said, sir,
where’d you get that? And I said, I’ll tell you where. I bought it on The Ellen Show. And if you act fast, you can
get up to your free 20 today. Everybody’s doing it. Yeah. Everybody is. All right, would you like to
see what you’ve been selling? I don’t know. OK, I’m going to look. You have three of them. [LAUGHTER] They don’t have to
just go here and here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they can go anywhere. They can go anywhere. Yeah. Anywhere you have a nipple. Yep, anywhere. The “Lego Movie Two,” the
second part is in theaters now. We’ll be right back. Chris Pratt.

100 thoughts on “Chris Pratt Is the Perfect Salesman in ‘Pitch Please’

  1. OmG he's so natural. Talented not just handsome. Perfect human, intelligent, handsome and humourous.

  2. Ellen: would you like to look?
    Chris: I dont know…

    Ellen: “Pitch please, youve been to space.”

  3. I watched that while eating and I literally almost choked, like seriously. I didn't know it was possible, always thought people are just joking

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *