LET’S SELL OUT! | Sing It! | Episode 7


Uh, uh, ah… Kali. Kali, Kali. Yeah, I know. That sucked
for me, too. No, I’m just not
in a good place for– Save it. [sighs]
I said it sucked. Okay, that’s–
that’s a little extreme. I mean, so gross. Okay. [groans] You’re gross. That was so gross. Wait.
Am I fired now? No, you’re fine. I mean that
in a completely
nonsexual, platonic way. [music playing] What the fu… [music playing] ♪ Whoa, oh oh oh, oh oh ♪ ♪ Whoa, oh oh oh, oh oh ♪ ♪ Whoa oh ♪ ♪ Whoa, oh oh oh, oh oh ♪ ♪ Whoa, oh oh, oh oh ♪ ♪ Whoa, oh oh, oh oh ♪ [screaming] Um, Stacey? You okay? What the hell, Kali? I trusted you.
I confided in you, and you’re in there
sucking face with Drew? Oh, jeez. You saw that? How long have you been
sleeping with the enemy,
you tiny traitor? No, no, no, no.
We never slept together. That was
our first and last kiss. It was a huge mistake. I don’t want to hear it. Okay, you’re supposed
to be on my side. I am. It meant nothing. A kiss
never means nothing. What are you doing?! I was trying
to prove that a kiss
means nothing, but, shit, you can’t
deny that chemistry. Out. Okay, but you know
you felt it. Out! There’s the man
I want to see. Are you talking
to me, Troy? No, I was talking
to the mirror. But I’m glad you’re here.
I want to show you something. What do you think? I think it’s Tupperware. Ennh! No. Guess again. I’ll just tell you. This is Troyperware. It’s better
than Tupperware, because it has
my face on it. Uh-huh. Your food will stay
fresh and handsome. And who doesn’t want
handsome leftovers? Exactly. It’s the latest
in my Troy Blue product line, and I was thinking
I could plug it on the show. It’s called
cross-dress marketing. You mean
cross-brand marketing? Potato, tomato. Wait. You mean– Never mind. But wait. There’s more. Did you know
that Troyperware doesn’t just hold food? It also holds liquids. I know
what you’re thinking. Messy spill, right? Well, that’s not
a problem with… my extra-absorbent
Troylet paper. You forget
your Troylet paper. Hey, Stace. Hey. Okay, are we okay? Because I thought
when you played
my documentary on the show, that meant we were good. We’re good. Hello, hello. Drew, that docu-piece
on the show, mwah,
the network loved it. But the sponsors,
blecch, they hated it. Also, they hate everything
you’ve been doing. Everything? Well, they signed on to sponsor a singing show
that featured
their products, not this pretentious potpourri
of life-changing horseshit. You were the one
that encouraged me
to follow my– Stop blaming other people.
That’s my thing. Okay, Marcy, what are
you asking me for? Well, I would like
to keep our sponsors, and the only way
I could do that was to promise
to bring the colors back and give ’em their
fabricated packages just like
the good old days. The good old days
when the show was failing so badly
that you hired me to change
the good old days. Our advertisers
have spoken. I don’t answer to them. No, you answer to me, and I answer to them, and they answer
to the audience, and they answer to God. Am I clear? I just– And in case
I am not clear, the network
marketing liaison
will be joining you to make sure
the clients are happy. Good-bye, good-bye. Okay, we are
not doing that. Oh, Drew, you poor,
naive bastard. The sponsors
keep the lights on,
period. The old “Sing It!”
is back, whether you
like it or not. [cell phone buzzes] Hello. Hey, Stacey. It’s me, Marcy. You were just here.
Why are you calling? I need to talk to you.
Meet me in sushi. I can hear her. Okay. What’s
the big secret? Drew is. I don’t
want him to know
that we all know that he has no idea
what he’s doing. But the network says
they can’t fire him, because he’s
in a pay-or-play contract. You told me
that if Drew screws up this season,
the job is mine. I did? I was probably lying. Don’t take it personally. I lie to everybody. What are we gonna do?! Stace… can we talk more
about the sponsor thing? [sighs] [no scream] [gasps] [mild sputter] Holy shit. I have feelings for
that pretentious asshole. Ooh, Adeline,
I love that dress. Ah, thanks. Not on you,
of course, but I do love it. [clears throat]
Yeah. It’s not really my color. but, you know,
now that colors are back,
I guess I’m stuck, right? Listen. It’s time
for you to pick
a lane, okay? You’re either
Ariana Grande
or Adele. Am I right?
There’s no such thing as a normal-sized girl
in Hollywood, so it’s time to pick,
okay? I’m rooting for you.
[kisses, clicks tongue] Not you. Ha ha ha. Ucch. She reminds me
of my mother. Yeah. Just feel like I look like
a BeDazzled traffic cone. Yep.
Oh, Stacey! I want you to meet
Garrett McKinley. Hi. He’s our network
marketing liaison. It is so nice
to meet you. Sorry. My hands are
as clammy as chowder. I just love
“Sing It!” so much. It is my favorite show
in the whole entire… world. [laughs] At least, it was before it got
all weird. No offense. Uh, Garrett was
just telling me how excited he is
that we’re bringing back
the colors. Oh, yeah. You know,
Skittles, they love
those colors. you know
what I’m saying? Probably because,
you know, they use those same colors
in their product. Anyway, I got an idea. Why don’t we make
the judges’ dais a big rainbow? [laughs]
This guy, with all the ideas. Right, Stace? Right. Hah! Gee, you two. So sweet. [sighs] Hey, Bar. Sorry I was late
for our lunch date. We don’t have
a lunch date. You find me
every day, and then I read,
and you yammer on and then
lick a Dorito
for an hour. I’ve just been so caught up
in this Destiny drama. She wants
to go back on tour, and my manager
wants me to go, too, I know how they feel. But what if
I don’t want to go? Like, it would mean
having to leave “Sing It!” and the show is like
a little fam to me. And, yeah, I will
probably make, like,
a gazillion dollars, but odds are I’ll probably
have to get back on Zoloft so I can be
even vaguely pleasant
around Destiny. What do you think
I should do? I don’t think about you. Oh, come on. I need your wise,
old-man advice. You’re like
a grandfather to me. You’re killing me here. That’s another reason
you’re like my grandfather. I totes killed him. I mean,
not on purpose. He was, like,
sleeping and snoring, and I was trying
to watch “Hannah Montana,” so I stuck
a couple jelly beans
up his nose, and it was,
like, a whole thing. Anyway,
so should I go on tour? My heart is torn
in halfsies. Okay, Holli, let’s play
a game of pros and cons. Awesome. Yeah. Right after my lunch. Mmm. [crying] You know, I’ve been
saying it for years. We gotta do more
graphics-based promos. I mean, why stop
at lower third when we can also
do upper third? Yeah. Yeah,
that’s a great idea. Really? God.
Thank you. You know,
because usually my pitches get shut down
at these types
of meetings. What?! No. That is crazy.
That’s insane. Uhh!
[clears throat] Uh, Garrett, do you mind if I talk
to Stacey real quick? Sure. I have to go
take a shit. Hey, what’s with you? What are you writing?
Can I see? Nothing. But, Mom,
I don’t like salad. I like Pop-Tarts. Pop stars don’t eat
Pop-Tarts. Go on. I don’t want to eat this. Finish it up. Just one Pop-Tart. Just one. Absolutely not. Hey, Maisy’s parents. Um, word is
that they’re editing Maisy’s package
in bay three right now, and I heard
they’re considering
editing you out. Hey, Maisy, want to go
have some fun? Okay. Let’s do it. Just because
I couldn’t scream when I looked
into Drew’s soft eyes, that does not mean
that I like this elitist,
pompous, douchey, loyal, passionate– Oh, damn it. [gasps] I can’t believe that I
like the guy I hate. What do I do? I don’t care
what you do. I just gotta keep
the line moving. The– Oh. You are so right. I have to keep
the line moving. Since when do I let
personal shit… [mouths word] get in the way of my career? I am Stacey effin’ Needles, and nothing
can slow me down. I’m super happy for you, but you have
to have this epiphany
someplace else. Also, your last name
is seriously Needles? Yes, and before you say it, I am aware
that Needles is the name of a character
in “Back to the Future,” and, yes, I know that he
was played by Flea. I have no idea
what any of those
references are. That’ll be $78.40. My goodness. Holy–What are you doing? Use Troyperware instead. Ahh. Eat handsomely. Up top. No? No? All right. [laughs] Con, you have to leave
“Sing It,” although
that’s a pro for me. Oh, it would be a pro
for me, too, because then
I would be more famous. Con, you’d have
to sing other people’s
droll music again. When you guys split,
you got to write
your own songs. True, but hashtag
#BringBackHolliWood
got over 10k retweets. I mean–[sighs] trending
means a lot to me. Okay? Like a lot. Like, it’s
probably unhealthy how obsessed I am
with social media. I think it’s decided. In the words
of great American
songbirds NSYNC, bye, bye, bye. Just let her go. Let her go. Shit. Holli. Wait. [sighs] Con, you
shouldn’t do this. Destiny’s
poison for you. I’ve seen you
at your best since
you’ve been here, Holli, and sometimes
seems like your worst, but I know it’s actually
your best, so… if you care
about yourself
as much as I do… don’t do this. You care about me? Like no–no sarcasm? No deep riddles?
You care about me? You! Oh, okay. [wailing] Whoa. Oh, whoa. Such skinny arms.
So strong. I think this one, the toilet bowl
cleaner’s gonna be
in the front. [muttering] What the hell
is this crap? It’s everything
we’re supposed to sell
on the show tonight. Remember? We’re
listening to Marcy. Oh, I don’t even want
to hear that name. Me neither, which is why
we should give her everything
she wants. People always
try to hide
brand integration, but we should… We should put it out there
for all to see. If Marcy wants sponsors… She’s gonna
get sponsors. You in? She’s the boss. Let’s sell out. Oh, no, no,
no, no, no, no. I want the top third,
lower third,
side thirds. So like a border? Yes. I want the screen
to be framed by whatever product
we’re shilling. I thought you hated
this stuff, man. The network wants to keep
the sponsors happy, so let’s go all out and
make sure everybody knows
exactly what we’re doing. I kind of like you
at this point, but if they’re
making you sell out,
why don’t you just quit? Luke, you’re missing
the point. This is payback
while making a state– Wait. Did you
just say you like me? I said, “At this point.”
That can easily change. Just changed. I value you. I’m calling H.R. You have value. [whistles] [murmurs] Garrett. Hey, guys. Y’all wanted
to see me. I’m gonna get
right to the point. How would you like
to be a guest judge
on tonight’s show? You’re pulling
my leg. No, we’re serious.
You deserve it. [laughs]
Okay. What?! You’re kidding me. Like, me live
on “Sing It!” next to Holli
and Barry? You’re the man
for the job, the man with
all the ideas. Ah-hah! I got
so many ideas. This is great. Um… I should call
my mother. Okay. All right. [chuckles] Brilliant call. Thanks. And I have
one more idea. [theme music playing] [cheering] Yes! Yes! Here it is! High-five me, everybody! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Hello, world! Are you ready to… “Sing it!” “Sing it!” Tonight we’re
bringing back colors, costumes, and themes. Oh, my. This week, it is all
about that money, but first, a word
from our sponsors. Have you ever been on a
diet where you could only eat
half of your frittata and then you just
ended up having to throw
the other half away? Well, don’t, silly goose. Use Troyperware. Troyperware.
Eat handsomely. [gasps] You’re a genius, a beautiful genius. Roll to commercial. All right. [contestants laughing] I’m having so much fun. Oh, man. It sure
is hot. I could use
a beverage. I’ve got just the thing, Mainstream cola. Say, who’s hungry? Not me. I’ve got
Mainstream Bursts
for days. Life’s always good… with Mainstream brand
products. [laughing] [crew laughing] Oh, Marcy’s gonna regret ever telling us to cater
to the sponsors. “Drew, the network
thinks that I think
this is hilarious.” [laughs] Ha ha. That’s funny. ♪ When marimba rhythms
start to play ♪ ♪ Dance with me ♪ ♪ Make me sway ♪ ♪ Like a lazy ocean
hugs the shore ♪ ♪ Hold me close ♪ ♪ Sway me more ♪ ♪ Other dancers
may be on the floor ♪ ♪ But, my darling ♪ ♪ I only see you ♪ ♪ Only you’ve got
that magic technique ♪ ♪ When we sway, I go weak ♪ ♪ I can hear
the sound of violins ♪ ♪ Long before it begins ♪ ♪ Make me thrill
as only you know how ♪ ♪ Sway me smooth ♪ ♪ Sway me now ♪ [cheering] Freddy,
what can I say? Brilliant as usual. Oh, thank you. Yeah. I agree 100%
with everything
Barry says. You’re so sweet. Freddy… you are dark,
sweet, and nutty, just like this
delicious candy bar, which also
happens to be one
of our sponsors. You’re dark,
sweet, and nutty. Oh, boy. Adeline,
I snuck this in. Oh, I-I’m not
feeling so great. Maisy, you’re on! Okay. Hey, Addy, thank you so much
for today. I really needed it. Yeah. Have fun out there. ♪ Well, I had me a boy,
turned him into a man… ♪ [laughing] ♪ Showed him
all the things that he
didn’t understand… ♪ Have you heard
from Marcy? I wonder
what she’s thinking. ♪ Now there’s
one in California ♪ ♪ Who’s been cursing my name ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I found me
a better lover in the U.K. ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Until I made my getaway ♪ ♪ Oh, 1, 2, 3 ♪ ♪ They’re gonna run back to me ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I’m the best baby
that they never got to keep ♪ ♪ 1, 2, 3,
they’re gonna run back to me ♪ ♪ They always wanna come,
but they never wanna leave ♪ ♪ Exes and oh, oh,
oh, ohs, they haunt me ♪ ♪ Like a ghost ♪ ♪ They want me ♪ ♪ To make ’em oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ They won’t let go ♪ ♪ Exes and ohs ♪ [cheering] [new song begins] ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Mm, mm ♪ ♪ You are my fire ♪ ♪ The one desire ♪ ♪ Believe when I say ♪ ♪ I want it that way ♪ ♪ And we ♪ ♪ Are two worlds apart ♪ ♪ Can’t reach to your heart ♪ ♪ When you say ♪ ♪ “I want it that way” ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I want it ♪ ♪ That way ♪ [cheering] [breathing heavily] Beat that. Jesus. Whoo! TROY: Last up tonight, Adeline Murphy. [cheering] [music starts] ♪ All he ever wanted
was to be someone in life ♪ ♪ Who was just like ♪ ♪ All I want
is to just have fun ♪ ♪ Live my life
like a son of a gun ♪ ♪ I could be
a thousand miles away ♪ ♪ But still I mean what I ♪ [voice breaks]
♪ I say ♪ Ehh! [Adeline grunts] [moaning] [splash] What just happened? Did she… Uhh! pee? [groans] Stupid childless people, Adeline’s water
just broke. What? What? [moaning] Well, it looks like
cutting to break’s up to me, but we’re
not gonna do that. We’re gonna go ahead
and just watch a baby crown on live television.
Camera two… Tell me what’s wrong.
I can help. I once played a doctor
on “All My Children.” [wails] Hot towels.
Get me some hot towels. Wait. Why do we
need hot towels? I have no idea.
That was my line on “All My Children”
when someone was
having a baby. -Who’s having a baby?! -You are. -I am? -Keep that baby inside. I’m gonna go get
some hot towels. All right,
it’s gonna be okay.
Trust, Adeline. Just breathe
with me, okay? I can’t do this. Yes, you can. Sometimes life
throws you a surprise. Although I don’t
know how pregnancy
can be a surprise, but there is
a whole TV show about it. Listen, it is scary and real,
but this is your life, and you are about to have
a little partner, someone by your side to help you navigate
life’s shit storm. -Okay. Okay.
-Okay. [groans] -Oh. Oh.
-Okay. Okay, it’s coming. [wailing] I could only find one
towel, and it’s not that hot,
but–[gasps] [baby crying] [exhales] [sobbing] [applause] TROY: Wow,
no umbilical cord. Who would have thought? That’s what you
use the towel for. Get Pampers
on the phone! This is
a perfect tie-in! The miracle of life,
ladies and gentlemen. It’s so sweet,
so precious. And now let’s get
to the stuff that
really matters. Judges, the results. What?
We’re still on the air? Hey, Stace. Totally worth it. Um, this seems
so awful, Adeline, uh, because, well,
you did have a good reason
to be pitchy tonight. But, um,
you’re going home. Yeah, and, Freddy,
you have immunity. Yay. Congratulations. Yes! Oh. Sorry, baby. He forgives you. [cooing] I’m really
gonna miss you. Mm, you’ll be okay, Maisy. Just be true
to yourself. Maisy, sweetheart, come over here
and celebrate. [sighs] Wish you
were my mom. [laughs] Closer. Hi. Look at us. We just delivered
a baby. Yeah. Heh. You’re about to say
something feelingsy,
aren’t you? What you said
to Adeline, that was about us,
right? And the shit storm
is the show. Shut up. Hello, hello. Great show, guys. Really. Really. I’m kidding. That was one
of the worst
pieces of shit I’ve ever seen
in my life. Beau Hemsworth wants
to see both of you. Who? The President of the network. Good-bye,
good-bye. What do you
think that means? I think we’re both
getting fired. [music playing] CROWD: Potvin sucks!

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